Polyboxes Paradoxes

I faced alarming paradoxes as I headed toward puberty. First, my King James Bible-belting parents, extended family, and all-hopelessly-WHITE farm community taught me God loves me and all the children, red and yellow, and black almost as much as white. That felt good but then I learned God hates me because I became queerly obsessed with hot guys, and not hot girls. So, God restoratively created me so He could retributively hate me. That seemed like poor justice and peace planning to me, and I was still in fifth grade. Then I learned that God had given me two extraordinary gifts: Possibly unmeasurable intelligence, and so, my grade-school principal warned my evangelical farmer parents, we were not to be surprised if I was and saw this Earth in a somewhat different way. My second gift was the envy of all good Bible-belting out and still-in teenagers. I could sing with the angels. So, the God of Infinite Love is my Creator and I am His Frankenstein ***** with a mind and singing voice to soar, full of Grace. You and I might both be surprised how long it took to figure out Something is very wrong with this picture, and I don't think it is just me. It was merely everyone else I knew and trusted in that Bible-belting time. So I sang for them in full voice but gave as little voice to my sexuality as possible. I wrote papers and test responses in full A+ voice but told no one I knew they were asking wrong questions for me to answer with full-versed integrity, Free to sing with David and Jonathon free of magic superstitions standing in for mythic polypathic wisdom of Solomon Not to divide innocent organic Promise God has conjoined as Love of and for children, red and yellow, black and white, gay and lesbian, bisexual and transgender And, yes, even straight-faced Bible-belted out and inward Hate, Supremely Evangelical Christian Colonizing InBred Correctness, while continuing to give birth to hidden, shamed and blamed ***** Grace of a Loving God polypathically immense, deep and wide, future through past regeneratively just and peaceful and wickedly funny Because if we cannot laugh at our egocentric stupidities, then we must cry out for cosmic tragedy.