Please Hold

Walked into a door frame and battered my shoulder Felt I’d done battle with some kind of boulder I thought I’d need more than a dollop of ointment So I rang the doctor to book an appointment The clock told me it was fifteen after nine And kling klangy muzak assaulted my mind It took a few minutes but then I was told My call was important… please hold At one point she said I was eighth in the queue I watched a fly circling for something to do Don’t say I’m important and then make me hold Just answer my phone call before I get old At thirty five minutes a strange sudden silence Left me inclined towards uncontrolled violence My mood was nosediving my demeanour, black I splatted the fly when the muzak came back I grumbled as I felt my impatience climb And pulled out my finger nails one at a time And as a makeshift agitation reliever I bashed my own head with the handheld receiver Well maybe my call’s not important but then She told me it was… again… and again I got really angry, I felt at a loss And then I said I’m gonna show her who’s boss So when a voice said, “Can I be of assistance?” I answered, “No,” with a spiteful insistence I slammed the phone down and it jolted my shoulder My wife grinned and said, “Well, that really told her!” [The average wait for an answer when calling my doctor’s surgery is 45 minutes]