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Planet of the Apes - Destiny

He’s finally free, With his mate riding horseback. Leaves prints in the sand. Plans to change his world, Now dominated by apes, Do not kill for sport. He then sees the past, Fallen Lady Liberty, Unveils man’s future.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2011

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Date: 12/28/2011 10:41:00 PM
Greg, you wrote this very well up until the last line. You have six syllables there which is one too many. How about changing that last line to "Man's future revealed"? Just a suggestion among many possibilities.
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Pettit Avatar
Robert Pettit
Date: 12/28/2011 11:09:00 PM
You're a good writer, Greg. I knew you would come up with a good solution.
Stanley Avatar
Greg Stanley
Date: 12/28/2011 10:59:00 PM
Wow - I usually double-check these things. Thanks Robert. I like your suggestion too.