Pills

what's the point to living when your shadow is the only one that will follow you and you wake up everyday worrying that your soul is going to leave your body and you scare yourself because you have no control over what happens when you take a pill 1 2 3 6 11 I lost count I don't know how many I've taken and my vision is now almost as cloudy as my mind and suddenly the floor is spinning and everything around me is moving and I can't hold onto anything I can't breathe I'm gasping for air and I'm throwing my hands everywhere like a crazed person who's seeing things maybe that's because I am a crazed person who's seeing things now I'm 3 years old and I'm watching myself blow bubbles in the sun and now I'm 5 years old and I'm kissing my mom goodbye as I get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten and now I'm 11 years old and those girls are saying mean things to me and now I'm 12 years old and I have a crush on a boy and now I'm 13 years old and I can't stop crying and now I'm 14 years old and I'm questioning why I'm still here and now I'm 15 years old and I think I see the light that is home