Pillaged Poet

I heard echoes of scurrilous snarls, from my conscience as it spoke contemptible remarks aimed at me. What shame those words delivered. "Fatuous one, why does your hand quiver, mimicking the trembling lips of a child in fear? You dare call yourself a poet, but you're nothing more than a joke." Guilt is the culprit that tunnels my mind as my passion for poetry shrivels on its vine. Withering like a flower, my empty heart has stripped my soul of its craving to write. It's my own foolish notion that causes me to shiver. I weep over my planted seedlings. They thirst, and their mournful cries I hear. Abandoned by their mother who begot them, and for this I'm filled with remorse and regret. That mocking voice invaded my aching breast, when again, it ridiculed me as a fool... "A self-proclaimed bard who gives up the task. You should put down the quill and live in disgrace." There is no saving grace for me. No nourishment for my verses to thrive. My heart is broken, drowning in memories. Without the will to live, how will it survive? It only drums in rhythm to keep me alive. Rows of sprouted thoughts have withered. Parched and dying, drying up in a field of grief. While I, their neglectful sower, helplessly sit as time elapses and I watch them expire. I’ve fallen between the gaps of missing lines into an abyss, my fingers charred in a fire. I can only water the seeds of self doubt with salty sweat from my furrowed brow and over fertilize them with tears of frustration. I do not seek salvation or redemption. Damnation will out. My ink well of impetus has sprung a leak or maybe it's a new watering hole I seek. I have not a drop to quench their thirst no morning dew, nor afternoon shower to give my wilting buds reprieve, a relief. I've tried to save them all, or was it just a half-hearted attempt made in vain? Not one more rhyme can I rescue from pain. I'm suffering from loss. All hope is gone. My fear is that I cannot express myself in what was once an emotional voice. No wonder my pages remain barren and blank, except for the blotches of spilled ink. My parchment lies in a state of immortal decay. I relinquish my quill to a better hand than mine, setting it free and praying that I be forgiven. For the folly, I've only myself to blame, this pillaged poet.