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Picking Participles

I was punctured by punctuations The words you wielded with such disdain A ravenous revolutionary Pitilessly piercing deep into my vein I pretended such positivity Holding happy forward as my shield Your attack so precise and persistent cold and calculated you would not yield You left little to the imagination Expressive expletives flowed from your lips The harmonization of my horror I was firmly nestled within its grips Attacked by your callous conversations Skillfully white washing every event They were but measly misunderstandings Never the nouns that I thought you had meant The truth is that I perceived your pleasure Within that capacity of your cruel Heading towards a cliff like a lemming Dancing dangerously close like a fool So I sought out new triumphant treasures Better lines lead to a more complete me No more would I dangle dangerously Halting hearing you speak helped me to see!

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Constance La France

Date: 5/23/2015 8:38:00 AM

Richard, as a kid who was bullied (there are a lot of us), I think this is so well written with all the sad emotion, a wonderful 7, and thanks for visiting my poem, swept away, did you go or go to rock concerts, I will tell you the band name after the contest closes, btw, I am typing and trying to hold back my new kitty called Eve Snuggles who is wiggling and squirming, meowing and pawing the keyboard, oh my gosh !!!!

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 5/23/2015 9:20:00 AM

David Bowie, Sting, Rod Stewart to name a few. Thanks for commenting. Hugs Rick.

Monterey Sirak

Date: 5/17/2015 9:29:00 AM

I remember the old saying from childhood..Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. You brilliantly show us how wrong that saying was and is.

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 5/17/2015 9:40:00 AM

Yes that saying has such survived many many years and it is still wrong.

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 5/15/2015 11:15:00 PM

Yes, I could really hear the fine way you made those sounds ring out for us. The way we use language is so powerful, Richard, for both good and for bad, such a mighty sword!

Kp Nunez

Date: 5/13/2015 12:23:00 PM

A sad write this is, Richard. Oh but how skillfully you have woven your feelings within the word combines. I guess a reader who knows the poem does not refer to him/her will find pleasure in reading itself. I do. :-) Another worthy 7. Kim :-)

Emile Pinet

Date: 5/13/2015 8:56:00 AM

Words can be as lethal as any blade as they cut into us with calculated verbosity. Emile.

Constance La France

Date: 5/13/2015 7:41:00 AM

Richard, lots of meaning within your words on paper, deep meaning, well written 7, for me, I used to care what people thought of me, I tried to be what they wanted, now, I am just me and that is the best way to be and thanks for visiting my poem, Oxford

Etienne Lariviere

Date: 5/12/2015 5:44:00 PM

How would I crítique this poem? Well if I was a fat guy and a thin guy, and this poem was a movie, I would give it 2 thumbs up!!!!! Pure raw talent as usual!! :) :) :) :)

Michael Dom

Date: 5/12/2015 4:33:00 PM

Misinterpretations or misrepresentations? Mmm...Meanings, meanness and meaners - Mirror, mirror in the mall, make known the meanest of 'em-all... :-)

Eileen Manassian

Date: 5/12/2015 9:04:00 AM

Richard...there is the outright attack and the more subtle one....the "you're reading into this one". That is painful as well. I've realized that people will misunderstand you just because they want to....So, yes...when you realize that...true intent...you stay away. This is a very difficult poem for me to read. I hope that you are ok, and not in pain. I must say....the way you worded this poem is astounding. I'm amazed by your talent. Hugs

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 5/12/2015 9:54:00 AM

Now I'm blushing.

Eileen Manassian
Date: 5/12/2015 9:53:00 AM

I'm glad it's fictitious. I've come to realize that some people will never like me. It used to bug the hell out of me. Sorry...had to say that. Now...I stay with those who see the real me and who care for me. I don't have enough emotional energy to deal with people with whom I need to prove myself time and again. I have close friends....I have loyal friends....That's enough for me. I'm glad you've reached that place as well. I think you're pretty awesome the way you are! :)

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 5/12/2015 9:50:00 AM

I made a couple more changes. Don't worry, I'm actually more than fine. The first line popped into my head and I just let it take me where it would. I do tend to stay away from people like this. In the past I bent over backwards trying to gain their favor, but not any more.

Poesy Relish

Date: 5/12/2015 8:48:00 AM

Very true Richard... sometimes it can be more ruthless than any physical attack... and like Becca, I have also been there... nice write... nad

Poesy Relish
Date: 5/12/2015 9:58:00 AM

the only way out is to stick with those who believe in what we are, those who care for us... and just ignore others and their remarks... its easier to do as time passes..

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 5/12/2015 9:51:00 AM

So true Poesy. I hope you are surrounded by people with kind affirming words.