Personal Poem

I want to feel hurt I seem to seek pain, and am broken in such a way I seem whole. The smile on my face does falter, as my happiness dwindles down to naught but ash and distant memory, and I now know. No longer a child of society, long gone are those innocent years of mindless bliss, I'm growing up and I see the world with new born eyes, and the world is amazing. Terrifying. Take a moment and stop, take your time and see. Whether a plant, a beast or a lover. An enemy, a friend, or a mother. Take a minute and bask in the beauty of life, and know.. We are not forever. Life can be cut short like a candle lit flame, ever quick to ignite, even harder to tame. Life is thrilling, yet short, we are young, we are free. Yet free as I am, theirs still chains that bind me. I am cursed with affliction, yet hurt remains my addiction, I am blessed with charm yet act solely to harm. I struggle to find the words too form the phrase you call hello, how dare I ever dream of love? Like a star in the sky I am surrounded. Secluded, so lonely, so cold. I look at my friends there are so many you see, yet for all of my searching none of them notice me. I am empty, I am broken, I'm that mask we all wear, when we hide our true emotions and pretend the feelings were never there. Like a leaf torn from home in the infancy of autumn cursed and dropped into a world so small, so cruel, so beautiful. I am a leaf in the wind, as I pass through this life, I hear whispers, I hear noises in the darkness and light. Yet i still fear my shadow and im afraid of the dark I avoid confrontation and am scared of my heart I dance daily with dissapointment with no fear of reprise And i still struggle yet to look myself in the eyes Im growing each day, and each days a new start maybe one day ill be able to face the demons in my heart.