Personal Poem
I want to feel hurt
I seem to seek pain,
and am broken in such a way I seem whole.
The smile on my face does falter,
as my happiness dwindles down to naught but ash and distant memory, and I now know.
No longer a child of society,
long gone are those innocent years of mindless bliss,
I'm growing up and I see the world with new born eyes,
and the world is amazing.
Terrifying.
Take a moment and stop, take your time and see.
Whether a plant, a beast or a lover.
An enemy, a friend, or a mother.
Take a minute and bask in the beauty of life, and know..
We are not forever.
Life can be cut short like a candle lit flame,
ever quick to ignite, even harder to tame.
Life is thrilling, yet short, we are young, we are free.
Yet free as I am, theirs still chains that bind me.
I am cursed with affliction, yet hurt remains my addiction,
I am blessed with charm yet act solely to harm.
I struggle to find the words too form the phrase you call hello, how dare I ever dream of love?
Like a star in the sky I am surrounded.
Secluded, so lonely, so cold.
I look at my friends there are so many you see,
yet for all of my searching none of them notice me.
I am empty, I am broken, I'm that mask we all wear,
when we hide our true emotions and pretend the feelings were never there.
Like a leaf torn from home in the infancy of autumn cursed and dropped into a world so small, so cruel, so beautiful.
I am a leaf in the wind, as I pass through this life,
I hear whispers, I hear noises in the darkness and light.
Yet i still fear my shadow and im afraid of the dark
I avoid confrontation and am scared of my heart
I dance daily with dissapointment with no fear of reprise
And i still struggle yet to look myself in the eyes
Im growing each day, and each days a new start
maybe one day ill be able to face the demons in my heart.
Copyright © Conner Gillespie | Year Posted 2020
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