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I want to feel hurt
I seem to seek pain, 
and am broken in such a way I seem whole. 
The smile on my face does falter,
as my happiness dwindles down to naught but ash and distant memory, and I now know. 
No longer a child of society, 
long gone are those innocent years of mindless bliss, 
I'm growing up and I see the world with new born eyes, 
and the world is amazing. 
Terrifying. 
Take a moment and stop, take your time and see. 
Whether a plant, a beast or a lover. 
An enemy, a friend, or a mother. 
Take a minute and bask in the beauty of life, and know..
We are not forever. 
Life can be cut short like a candle lit flame, 
ever quick to ignite, even harder to tame. 
Life is thrilling, yet short, we are young, we are free. 
Yet free as I am, theirs still chains that bind me. 
I am cursed with affliction, yet hurt remains my addiction, 
I am blessed with charm yet act solely to harm. 
I struggle to find the words too form the phrase you call hello, how dare I ever dream of love?
Like a star in the sky I am surrounded. 
Secluded, so lonely, so cold. 
I look at my friends there are so many you see, 
yet for all of my searching none of them notice me. 
I am empty, I am broken, I'm that mask we all wear, 
when we hide our true emotions and pretend the feelings were never there. 
Like a leaf torn from home in the infancy of autumn cursed and dropped into a world so small, so cruel, so beautiful. 
I am a leaf in the wind, as I pass through this life, 
I hear whispers, I hear noises in the darkness and light. 
Yet i still fear my shadow and im afraid of the dark 
I avoid confrontation and am scared of my heart
I dance daily with dissapointment with no fear of reprise
And i still struggle yet to look myself in the eyes
Im growing each day, and each days a new start 
maybe one day ill be able to face the demons in my heart.
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