Perfectly Broken

She was and then she wasn’t. A ghost in the rearview. I can still feel her. The glass slipping from my fingers. Shattered to pieces. Eyes seeing, always remembered. At night I dream. Little drops of sunshine. A candle lit depression. Aimless adventures. Walking down no-name roads in paper towns. A parallel existence. I sleep when not needed. Craving the dreamscape. Pills in a rainbow of colors. Pharmaceutical clouds to float down rivers. A fantasy timeshare to infinity. Waking hours wading through reservation. Deprived of everything, except sleep. A zombie walking. Waiting for the last bell. Father Time time must be lonely. The hours always tick toking away. Fingers grasping. Always coming up empty. Hand in the cookie jar. Closed mouth dying to be fed. Searching for anything. Pain just another feeling. Pleasure a welcome distraction. Selling my body for emotional currency. Paid for with shame and stained sheets. There was a moment. The stars aligned. And the disgusting act of free use became beauty. Time stopped for a breath. Nothing mattered. Milk spilled with no tears. In the aftermath. Shower hot. Not enough soap. Filthy little thing. Lost in the moment. Working on disinfection. Success in the forgotten glass. Perfectly broken.