Patient wait, I fight my fate

why cant i disconnect when i stop having fun, leave this server and find a new one, I know we never ask to play, but still im begging anyway, I’m sick and tired of this game, and struggle hiding my disdain, for still having to entertain, these words inscribed inside my brain, written red, its better than the awful things i’d do instead, so here in bed, ill chain my head, and think of ways theyll find me dead, till something cracks, i tend to laugh and then these awful feelings pass and i’ll look back eventually upon my whole cacophony and wonder how that once was me, but just for now i guess ill be, the one who waits here patiently