Pathos

PATHOS

Every time I have to do something for you,
an overwhelming sadness envelopes me.
It’s been eight months since you passed,
I still have not shed a tear, there is none.

I did most of the things needed in arranging
your memorial service; but could not do a tribute
for you for I don’t really know you very well.
Two of my siblings out of seven children did.

We decided not do anything after the memorial
services, except lunch with all your children,
most of your grandchildren and some of your
great grandchildren because of the pandemic.

We agreed on getting together to celebrate your
life two days after your birthday in November
and we are inviting our relatives and your friends.
Again, I got the invitations going for the event.

We planned on giving presentations and I have to
read a couple of poems or say something about you.
Reading the poems is easy for I just have to choose
what poems I have to read; talking about you is hard.

All I can think of is the strangeness between us, the
deafening silence when I visited you, the immense
feeling of being an outsider, your total indifference.
If I could not write a tribute then, how can I now?

There are no words I could think of, it is all blankness
for remembering you evokes sadness and heartache.


9/25/21      "P"Contest, New Or Old Poetry
                  Constance La France
                  Theme #1

sadfree verse

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Sam Kauffman

October 5, 2021 at 12:00 PM

Marilene, this "pathos" rises from the heart of you - your deep core of ambivalent numbness and desire to honor your sister. Congratulations for your win! Sending you blessings of inspiration. And, on a happier note, blessings for your birthday on the eighth! How did the song for your class turn out?

Marilene Evans

October 5, 2021 at 4:52 PM

My professor could not make it to live class so we did Zoom and our live performance was re-scheduled for Friday. I'm getting excited, I am performing two dances for my birthday. Swing with Good Golly, Ms. Molly by Little Richard and Disco with I am What I am by Gloria Gaynor. Girls just want to have fun.

Constance La France

October 5, 2021 at 8:28 AM

Marilene, congratulations on your win in my "P" contest with this emotional poem, beautifully penned, well done ~ love and serenity _Constance

Marilene Evans

October 5, 2021 at 9:10 AM

Thanks so much, Constance for my placement and your compliments. Today is my brother's birthday. He was the one who passed in January. I miss him. I have sadness because he's gone and joy celebrating his 67th birthday, although he's not here; but in my heart.

Ann Peck

October 2, 2021 at 10:22 AM

That's such a sad ending to a life shared. I'm reading the person as a father once, but it could belong to any of us who have had those feelings. Your last stanza really touched my heart. Congratulations on your win!

Marilene Evans

October 2, 2021 at 10:44 AM

I'm so honored, that the last stanza touched your heart. That was my mother (Mama), who gave me to her sister. I am fortunate, thou because my Mommy (her sister) nurtured and loved me, she was the mother to me. She passed six years ago and I miss her so.

Alexis Y.

September 28, 2021 at 1:38 AM

Hi Marilene, What a well-written and heartfelt write. Family ( especially mother) is where we first experience love and acceptance; it's unfortunate when that doesn't happen. Congratulations on a well-deserved win- Alexis

Marilene Evans

September 28, 2021 at 8:45 AM

Thank you, Alexis. Have a great day. Hugs, Marilene

Jan Allison

September 27, 2021 at 12:46 PM

I can relate on it with my father, six years on neither me nor my mother have grieved. Many congratulations on your win:-) hugs Jan xx

Marilene Evans

September 27, 2021 at 3:06 PM

Thanks so much, Jan for relating your own experience, your congratulations and your hugs. Appreciate it. Have a great evening. Hugs, Marilene..

Rico Leffanta

September 26, 2021 at 11:58 AM

When you look into someone's eyes and see no one is home, it is time to move on . . . .

Marilene Evans

September 26, 2021 at 12:27 PM

Yes, Rico, especially if it is beyond your control and now that I can see that my siblings are much closer to me now since she has been gone. That is interesting and a surprised.... Enjoy your Sunday. My brother took me to see the Four Tops and Temptations last night and I'm going to a Piano Recital this afternoon. I'm moving on... lol...

Andrea Dietrich

September 26, 2021 at 10:39 AM

Is this a grandmother you are writing about? It's very sad to have relatives for whom we can muster no happy emotions or sorrow upon their death. WELL done.

Marilene Evans

September 26, 2021 at 12:20 PM

No, this is my biological mother, who gave me to her sister when I was one year old without my father knowing it. He just knew I was gone when he came home. I was the first born and she said she did that because we were poor and yet, they had eight more kids after me. She never treated me like she treated them.