Passion
As I quietly watched you
I was so envious
But at the same time
I was also afraid
That I would never
Feel the passion with which
you so ravenously recited those words
in that "Shakespeare" poem
I kept asking myself
"Have I ever felt that?"
"Have I ever been that passionate
about anything?"
I was so jealous of you
The "excitedness" in your voice
I tried to imagine
a time-anytime in my life
That my "passion" for anyone
or anything
Was rawly noticeable
Not only to others
But also to myself
Maybe?
That is all I can answer
"truthfully"
Because I honestly cannot remember
such a time
Was it High School?
College?
When I fell so deeply in love?
When I became a "Wife"
When I became a "Mother", three
different times?
Or was it the moment I entered this world
from my "mothers" warm & nurturing womb
And not only became a "Daughter"
But also a person?
I took my first breathe
Screamed from the top of my lungs
Although I cannot remember
I believe that I felt a "kind"
of passion for life itself
Especially at just 2 weeks of
being
My tiny, frail body fought
through the fluid filling my lungs
with "Double pneumonia"
I believe I fought "hard"
Hard to "LIVE"
With my mother by my side
Just outside the steam tent that
forcefully pushed medication through
to my little lungs
her scared hands resting on my back
to make sure I hadn't given up
Now as I look back
I know that I have felt it
It has just been such a long,
long time
The black cloud that has been hovering
over my life
Has smothered out my good memories
It has shielded my thoughts
to only the bad
So I will pray
I will pray so hard to God
to give me the strength to overcome
this pain in my body, the sadness
in my heart
To help me throw some color into
this black cloud
Please send a "rainbow", to crush
the blackness,
a brightly lit sun to smash it to the ground
All so I can find enough
"Inner Strength" to feel again
To feel the "PASSION" for "LIFE"
That I believe I once felt
As I desperately try to find a
reason to be happy and to "LIVE PASSIONATELY"...again
Copyright © Kelli Egloff-Metzgar | Year Posted 2014
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