Partyline

I need to make some calls but I can't even use this phone of mine. I live in a hick town and me and my neighbors have a partyline. People are always squaking on their phones and I've had enough. When I ask the people to hang up, they tell me to get stuffed. I need to make some important calls but I'm out of luck. Women are gossiping all day long and that really sucks. When I asked them to stop gossiping, their hubbies broke down my door. They each took turns punching me and I wound up eating the floor. When they finished beating on me, I was in a lot of pain and I'm still wearing a cast. This is the twenty-first century for Pete's sake, partylines should be a thing of the past. If you move to my neighborhood, buy a cellphone or you'll be driven out of your mind. I'm not kidding when I tell you that it's both annoying and dangerous to have a partyline. (This is a fictional poem.)