Pardon My Parody: So You Wanna Be An Actress

(Hint: à la "Heart" from "DAMN YANKEES") You gotta be smart If you wanna get a part In a movie or a play on Broadway There are dues you must pay, Play it smart. If you've put on some weight, Make sure your headshot's up-to-date. Kid, you ain't the only blonde who can act, There are some fat ones, in fact, But, lose the weight. When you go to an audition, One that's like a "cattle call", Show your talent, heart, ambition, A little leg, Hell! Show it all. Just say, oh screw it! Disrobe and do it. And when you finally get cast, There's a way to make it last. You can marry a producer, of course, One who'll keep your sweet a**e performing art, And art is all about heart… Some talent helps, but mostly heart… And T and A, but lotsa heart… But first you gotta be smart.