Paperweight

Do you know what it feels like to be a paperweight like you're sitting on someone's chest They can't move nor do you want to pinning their arms above their head screaming in their face to look at you in the eyes dead in the eyes as they keep turning away and when they finally do you can't find your reflection, you're a ghost to them Do you know what it feels like to be a paperweight like you're a holding place, a replacement for somebody else, someone unattainable for someone not there, not here and it's you begging the question 'What am I, a true love or a mirage of something invisible' Do you know what it feels like to be a paperweight to be someone who likes the way the people stare at you now but you look so fake, a wearer of a disguise so no one can see the face of the cards you hide while chasing a phantom of your own Have you ever felt yourself as useless but still find a purpose to keep your head up because you've found greatness in tragedy If this is you, share me your knowledge of what to do I have no tragedy to bear but a story to unravel a story dating back 4 years Dating, where and why did I pursue the endeavor in a desperate attempt to find that whoever wherever she may rest her head and slumber My wherever then wore the name of Juliet the Medusa so dear, a treasure to me so excuse me if I brag for pages I bragged about her for every month gone by declaring for her, my love, I'd never leave but it was her destined to depart at month 7 her leaving adding up to 3 and then it's me leaving with scars, innocence gone as we fast forward 4 years to the present becoming a different transformation, a different someone I'll be blunt: my angel wings have been torn apart so like a plane I crashed back down to Earth in response this wolf bears fangs and roses a dominate howl and a voice inside, screaming for love hoping to be alpha, hoping to secure a mate once and for all but I am an animal no less no matter how good my intentions the level of passion, thoughtfulness, hesitation willingness to understand I am an animal no less aboard a seaward vessel equipped with a mast and a flag to signal to the awaiting crowd I'm ready, I'm available, I'm waiting but it's just me while my interests wave their own flags from miles away and I can only reach out with a ghostly embrace followed by looks behind a screen making promises I don't know if I'm able to keep while there's two potential loves in my vicinity but I can't declare fascination or they'd slap cuffs upon my wrists Why can't I just like a girl, a question muttered before now I ask for a worldwide discussion Why can't I just like a girl Why am I the paperweight Why can't I be the paper folded up into a perfect little plane Let me answer my own question without a sound