Papa.

one person understood me. one person stopped the war in me. to wipe away my tears in the night, calling me sunshine, calling me blondie. one person went so far away, one person won't return. another voice i cant ever hear, another loss i couldnt afford. because illness fought a better fight, because of old age, because of death. thats why i cry tonight. battered photographs, stories my father told me, they could never do you justice. because i couldnt cry when i saw you for the last time, thats why the tears fall harder now. because im reminded of you when i think of things, like blueberry pancakes and peppermints, of easter egg hunts, and the best birthday cards. i hate to think of when you last saw me, when i was tainted, alienated. and i wish that you could see me now, how far i've come, and help me go further. because no ones on my team anymore. because i dont think they understood you. because they played the wrong song, because they think that you still linger in this life. i want go back. i want to cry.