Pain Like This
no one told me it would hurt like this.
like sandpaper scraping through my veins.
head pounding, body aching,
tied and bound with chains.
they never explained the pain I'd feel
or the way my body would shut down.
straining against a sea full of destructive things
and I fear that I might drown.
I don't think I can continue
this is far too much to bear
I crave the habits that numbed the pain
that pulled me out of this despair.
the pills used to set me free,
and I'd drink until I slept
now reality beats me down
the title of sobriety is the only thing I've kept
I miss the times I couldn't feel
the times I can't remember
I don't want to feel this way
just a blink away from a bender
being sober feels like torture
I need the drug-induced bliss
I know this is what's best for me
but no one told me it would hurt like this.
k.s.<3
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