Pain Like This

no one told me it would hurt like this. like sandpaper scraping through my veins. head pounding, body aching, tied and bound with chains. they never explained the pain I'd feel or the way my body would shut down. straining against a sea full of destructive things and I fear that I might drown. I don't think I can continue this is far too much to bear I crave the habits that numbed the pain that pulled me out of this despair. the pills used to set me free, and I'd drink until I slept now reality beats me down the title of sobriety is the only thing I've kept I miss the times I couldn't feel the times I can't remember I don't want to feel this way just a blink away from a bender being sober feels like torture I need the drug-induced bliss I know this is what's best for me but no one told me it would hurt like this. k.s.<3