Overthinking

Why is the heart so confusing You’ve been told it’s wrong You know it’s wrong But you crave for them more Not even physically Just their presence is more than enough You give until you’re drained Wondering why you don’t receive as much You care so much Why isn’t it the same You want people to feel loved and cared for But it seems obsessive to them You find yourself no longer capable of understanding Where it is you always go wrong All you want is for people to love you as much as you love them You feel as if you overdo it You’re not even trying to You just want them to feel understood Every emotion they’re feeling and the circumstances they have you consider in intense detail But it feels as if they force themselves to care for you They swear it’s not the truth But you find them going several days without even speaking to you You have to initiate everything When you spent time together it was because you asked And when you don't ask, they don't notice They don't realize why you went quiet And when they ask if you're okay, if they ever do, you can't tell them how you really feel You can tell them the situation That's expected But emotions? Seem too much to handle So you say you're fine And you do whatever it takes to keep it that way. Yet you let it build up inside And when the attacks come You suffer through it on your own Because youre to scared to burden anyone with the mess you are So when youre in tears You don't tell them anymore Not like you used to as a kid Cuz then, you just wanted the attention Wanted a omebody to notice But now it has nothing to do with that You don't want people to see how broken you are How you fight to not cover up everything with a lie Because they beg you not to Yet you feel even worse wondering why they act like they care but seem so distant when you need them most Or its just you over thinking two days of silence Taking it as them not caring When really they're just busy But you make time for them So why can't they make time for you? But here you are overthinking again because they've come through at your lowest times Yet you wonder why you feel so detached from them Why it feel like you're always fighting to get their attention They only ask when you ask Only talk when you start What if you just stopped caring? What if you just stopped asking? What if you just stopped speaking? You don't want to stop existing But what if she was right? What if it doesn't matter if you did?