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In the spirit of lowered expectations, loyalty that’s street corner bought This Oval Office recommendation was given very little brothel thought It was stamped with misogynist approval: he’s a mighty fine spouse beater, first-rate Just a good professional, abusive soulmate, no need to investigate the first wife removal This walking, angry crew-cut ticking bomb carrot top comes highly recommended by the chief of staff With a couple of cold brewskis, he will brawl it all out, er, I mean ... bawl it all out, like a little bitty calf He’s so Ivy League smart ... harmless as an Alabama tick, just don’t ruffle his hawk feathers, or suffer the mule kick It’ll knock your front teeth out, give you a real pretty black eye ... I’m telling you, he ought to be your company’s new PR face guy Did I mention, he really knows how to gin up the charm, pint-size lunchtime doses will trigger his firewater alarm So you best hide him secret good, give him top-notch, straight jacket security protection Don’t report the things you should — we here at the White House didn’t learn our spin lesson This suit comes with gold star recommendation invisible, dust for prints on his portfolio before the law do though Any damaging domestic violence FBI report need to be OO executive toilet flushed This clandestine meeting has to be cut short, and kept on the down low hush-hush
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