One Picture At a Time

A toddlers Crayola masterpiece marks the box
Where the story of our days now tarry
Passages tilting the axis of a bittersweet equinox
As photographs eclipse yesterday and today unvaried 

The plans we made for a life
After years of work and worry
Useless installments when your partner dies
The crumbling of everything you once held firmly

Riveted, uprooted with every slide
Scenes of "our time" bring you back to life
I step from earth, you from the sun, for yet another goodbye
And the dam finally collapses behind brave hazel eyes

But not the brokenness your death left behind
Still, though no more than ashes it resides
Like faded photographs etched in the mind
Fanning the embers... one picture at a time

Rage rises, for you left me alone
Without refuge for all life's trials
And our sons fatherless before they were grown 
Every step feeling more like a mile

I've grieved so long 
And tried to move on
Like river water never looking back
But it's motion sings the the words to our song

Leaving me afraid I'll never belong
Or live out the plan we devised
For all my days my efforts give way
Blundering, burdened and blind

How does one truly recover
When the mate of their soul is no more
Or pass from one realm to yet another
When the walls of your heart no longer have a door? 

Frustration builds like Lego towers
toppling to the floor under the weight of the world
Is it grief or something disguised by cowards
When a heart gets stuck from the pain that it's learned? 

This ode to a man 
Who in covenant took my hand
The marriage equator engraved a permanent mark...
For his death left a total eclipse of my heart

Crazy as a loon
But my God... how I loved you
My eyes fixed upon our favored moon
And I wonder... Do you miss me too?

Anniversaries used to be a joyous accomplishment
Marking years of selfless love made
Now it serves only an acknowledgement 
Of a life interrupted by a cruel twist of fate

Of ill trusted hopes 
And a future unmade
For us left behind to cope
With memories and photographs fading away

On this the 2nd anniversary...
            Of your passing away



In memory of my husband of 25 years
Charley Romani 
(My Beloved)
Copyright © | Year Posted 2014

Poem

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Anish Avatar
May 20, 2014 at 11:12 PM
Romantic and moving work here! Peace & Love Matthew Anish
Peterson Avatar
February 15, 2014 at 11:30 PM
Sarai, this is such a heart-rendering elegy, and so you might have named its form. Thankfully there's poetry to express the wordless aching of the heart. A beautiful tribute, and I hope some part of him hovers nearby and reaches out for you in silent comfort.
Andresen Avatar
February 4, 2014 at 11:35 AM
- A poem that touches me deep in the heart - Amazing written. - You have put a lot of emotion into this poem,Sarai. - Wish you all the best. - oxox // Anne-Lise :)
Boskovski Avatar
February 1, 2014 at 6:02 PM
My Goodness Sarai! I am so sorry for your loss, my heart and my prayers are with you and your family! What an epic and powerful poem dedicated to your love. This poem, it made me think, it made me sit for a moment and wonder. with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes, I share your sorrow my dear Sarai! Be strong my dear friend, for they're better days to come. Sarai this was a beautiful dedication to your husband, and he is looking down and smiling at you! A great poem Sarai! xoxo :) hugs!
Manassian Avatar
February 1, 2014 at 5:52 PM
I'm ...........I'm so so sorry...Sarai...I'm so sorry! Oh my dear woman. How hard it is to be left behind.....I wish I could comfort you now and tell you that you will go on and survive........You will...He would want you to....Oh, my dear friend. Life can be so cruel....a better day is coming....Your tears will be wiped away...I believe it....My love to you....This write was a beautiful tribute to a lifetime of love...My heart goes out to you
Ellison Avatar
February 1, 2014 at 4:10 PM
Oh my dearest Sarai... I feel your pain! What a sad but beautiful memory of something that once was... that engulfed you two! I am so sad for you my sweet dearest friend. My first loving wife passed away from breast cancer on January 1st, 1999 and like you, something inside of me died too!! Stay sweet and stay strong my dearest Sarai... love you so deeply, most than my words can express! Jack E. XOXOX
Ellison Avatar
February 3, 2014 at 8:30 PM
Just as an aside, my honest to goodness real first name is Charles! Jack is a nickname my sisters gave me. I'll explain the circumstances sometime. My full name for legal purposes is Charles Byard Ellison
Williams Avatar
February 1, 2014 at 10:39 AM
Sarai as sad as the subject is it is told very eloquently and passionately, I love how you drew elements of children toys into it creating their mark as well, and as long as you can write like this you will always "belong" as scary as the future is, you will survive, very well done...David
Lamoureux Avatar
February 1, 2014 at 10:00 AM
Words can't express how it felt to read this poem. My heart aches for you, this is an unimaginable pain. Yet as believers we know one day we will be reunited with those we love. Still for a time the loss is unfanthonable. My deepest condolences.
Carroll Avatar
February 1, 2014 at 8:06 AM
Wonderful tribute write! Ken
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