One, Two, Three

10/21/16 I smile on the outside and laugh till I cry Chillin wit my homies wishing I was high Tired of this feelin dragging me down Wish I had a gun I'd pull the trigger now I always say I'm happy and everything is fine Can't you see I'm lying read between the lines Blurry face blurry life never seeing past this strife "Smile, be happy, why the long face" I'm not here can't you see I'm just a waste of space I fake a smile and a laugh and suddenly I'm just fine But it's not true I just smile for so you don't worry about my mind I want to be happy believe me I'm trying but it just doesn't seem to work But I can't keep it up my weary eyes want to shut its all driving me berserk My mind is chaos My eyes it's prison This body is just a trap. Let me escape it Let me just jump It'll all just end very soon Just count to three and step back One Two Three Splat Now she's dead, and they wonder why. What had gone wrong with her life. She wasn't happy but they couldn't see past her perfect mask a little to perfect if you ask me. There would be no more crying and no more grief no more sadness with clenched teeth. Yes there was no more bad but also no more good No more smiles no more friends no more laughing until you cry Never will there be an I do, never to be called mom All she wanted was to be happy and loved and I guess she didn't feel at home.