Written for a former friend that i may never see or talk to again
Once we were the greatest of friends We enjoyed each other’s company We could talk to each other for hours We talked about anything and everything Nothing was off limits or sacred between us I used to love to make you laugh and smile I never thought you did enough of either You once said that we had a special connection I thought nothing could ever come between us I thought you would always be a part of my life I thought we would be friends until the end I cared for you to the very depths of my soul I came to love you for unique reasons Your difficult life made me crazy with worry Your silence only served to make that worse I would wonder if you were hurt or dead I foolishly tried to be your everything knowing full well that was impossible but that did not keep me from trying because you were always worth it to me Once we were the greatest of friends You once said you had a big heart but there was no room in it for me You must hate me to your very core You knew nothing would hurt me more than to leave me writhing in confusion behind your unrelenting wall of silence forever to wonder if you are dead or alive silently praying that your life got less scary because I will never stop caring about you I refuse to give up on you like others have You and others may think me a fool but realize that I do not have it in me to do to you what you are doing to me I truly hope you are in a better place now and nothing but good ever comes to you I hope you find everything you seek in life Maybe someday before I take my final journey you will realize the kind of friend you had in me Hopefully someday you will find a way to forgive me for being crazy enough about you to foolishly believe that I could fill all the voids and vacuums in your life that others deliberately caused or callously left behind Perhaps someday you will finally come to understand that I did this because I believed you were far better than the sum of all your mistakes and bad judgments. When I looked at you I never saw just another woman who had simply been ravaged by life and left broken I saw what I believed was a “Masterpiece Undefined” Alas maybe I am nothing more than a crazy blind dreamer stumbling through life seeing only the very best in people daring to believe that I can make them see what I see.
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