On Becoming French

To be French means I’ll need to stop a few things, Whilst other small details I’ll seize. I'll need to start smoking a lot, and Start eating a whole lotta cheese. But I wont wear berets with striped shirts, Or hold a long skinny baguette, Or say words like merde or putain, Va te faire foutre, or even say couchette. But, I will talk as though I am in love, And eat frogs legs whenever I dine, And be happy, with passion, with all that I am, Then, with friends, share all of my wine.