Old Mcdonald's Farm

Old McDonald had a farm I visited one fine day Coerced the animals into my van Then quickly drove away Drove them all back to my house To be Butlers and Maids Now doesn't that sound much better Than domesticated animal slaves Feeling so good about myself I should have done this years ago Not realizing you can take the animal out of the farm And that I was about to eat some crow Cause the Cows broke more dishes than they cleaned The Pigs were nothing but a mess I asked the Sheep to sweep but all they did was bleat Never understanding a single word I said The Chickens grits were always lumpy And they wouldn't dare fry an egg No matter how hard it is I tried I couldn't get breakfast through their heads The Horse's dusting job was a disaster Tails sweeping everything on the floor From picture frames to books and lamp shades Knowing I couldn't handle this anymore I packed them all back into the van But not to set them run wild loose There was a certain giggling madness to my plan As I pulled up late night to the Zoo Let's call it a little midnight finagle A semi sleight of hand It wasn't like I was stealing More like a trade or a transplant I left behind all those worthless farm animals Since no one was considerate enough to warn me I'm sure the Zookeepers will be mighty surprised When they arrive in the morning And find roaming in all the cages Old McDonald's farm animals, no thank you very much While I'm at home with the Lions mowing the lawn And the Penguins gladly making me lunch The Giraffes out back trimming the tall shrubs that I have With the Rhinos washing both the cars It's only been a day but believe me when I say This is much better by far I think here a valuable lesson was learned Far be it for me to do name dropping But if you're ever out and about needing help at the house Do yourself a favor and start off with Zoo shopping