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Old Mcdonald's Farm

Old McDonald had a farm
I visited one fine day
Coerced the animals into my van
Then quickly drove away

Drove them all back to my house
To be Butlers and Maids
Now doesn't that sound much better 
Than domesticated animal slaves

Feeling so good about myself 
I should have done this years ago
Not realizing you can take the animal out of the farm
And that I was about to eat some crow

Cause the Cows broke more dishes than they cleaned
The Pigs were nothing but a mess
I asked the Sheep to sweep but all they did was bleat
Never understanding a single word I said

The Chickens grits were always lumpy
And they wouldn't dare fry an egg 
No matter how hard it is I tried
I couldn't get breakfast through their heads

The Horse's dusting job was a disaster
Tails sweeping everything on the floor
From picture frames to books and lamp shades
Knowing I couldn't handle this anymore

I packed them all back into the van
But not to set them run wild loose
There was a certain giggling madness to my plan
As I pulled up late night to the Zoo

Let's call it a little midnight finagle  
A semi sleight of hand 
It wasn't like I was stealing
More like a trade or a transplant

I left behind all those worthless farm animals 
Since no one was considerate enough to warn me
I'm sure the Zookeepers will be mighty surprised
When they arrive in the morning

And find roaming in all the cages 
Old McDonald's farm animals, no thank you very much
While I'm at home with the Lions mowing the lawn
And the Penguins gladly making me lunch 

The Giraffes out back trimming the tall shrubs that I have
With the Rhinos washing both the cars
It's only been a day but believe me when I say
This is much better by far

I think here a valuable lesson was learned
Far be it for me to do name dropping
But if you're ever out and about needing help at the house
Do yourself a favor and start off with Zoo shopping

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