Ocean of Avoidance

The swell that permeates my days - Even when attempting to Stand up on the surfboard Concentrating, with purpose to forget - Is you. You're always in front of my face And behind my back And everywhere in between Not telling me what I need to hear, Now: go, go, go! So why are you here? I thought, for just a moment, we were both On the same line. Just behind the wave That would propel us wherever The surf pushed us In balance and focused with a Powerful momentum - Directed and above it all. But now I'm at the breaking point And clumsy as a clown Being tossed about like I'm nothing But hapless debris Taking in too much -- Far too much to even think straight Bounced around Going under Beyond humbled Humiliated. (And it's so hard to breathe.) And where did you go? You're not even here anymore. You're gone. A void... Yet your always in front of my face And behind my back And everywhere in between Not telling me what I need to hear - And refusing to wind down.