Numb Part 2

And left without realizing I understood nothing I shrugged it off with a lump in my throat I tripped and stumbled over to the countertop And paused An inkling of a memory grew in head Like a new seedling pushing through the dirt What happened to me? I couldn’t have just been born With this dreadful numbness I can never remember a single thing Memories were never clear Only strange senses were there Flashing, flashing light It was too loud; everything was too loud Crashing, and banging Big, yellow adorned men Could barely save me I think? I felt so close to this memory Yet it was so distant Darn, darn, darn, darn! I was so close! I couldn’t stand the feeling of What could have been a breakthrough That would explain why I was so broken I made to the sink and Poured a glass of water The water didn’t look like glass this time It was cool, slipping down my throat But soon later my mouth felt like it was filled with sand The lump in my back pocket buzzed I pulled out my phone and the brightness of the screen Stung my eyes I quickly read the message on the screen and turned it off It was from someone...someone named Axel I recall the name and a blurry picture of their face But I can’t really remember who he truly is I ask my roommate, but all I can make out is that He has brown hair and that he loves me But I can’t remember, which is so very strange All the memories of him are fuzzy and uncertain I floated back to my bedroom to think Everything was so confusing Every memory was only a vague, dreamlike impression All I wanted was to make myself feel grounded But I just did not know how to do that I fell asleep again At least within my slumber I could pretend My dreamlike symptoms were because of my dreams Within my head as I slept, In a way a screening of a movie played Crashing, banging, stinging, ringing Blood, so much blood I couldn’t take the feelings I couldn’t reach the full movie Because every second was in blurry sepia Then everything went dark. My flat was buzzing with noise when I woke again Loud, slurred music filled the space Between the ever-growing chatter My head felt heavy As the strange, yet familiar dream Swam through my thoughts; Confusing When I turned my doorknob All noise ceased I shivered and opened the door People sprang at me! With a wobbly looking cake, bright lights I yelled, but I grinned, because A big, loud man picked me up and twirled me