Numb Part 1
I woke up from a dreamless sleep
My vision came through fuzzy and confusing
A cold, sharp ringing painfully pierced my ears
And irritated every sense
The familiar numbness stung my brain
And caused a slow, panic educing chill down my spine
Rising up from my bed was a challenge
My head hung low as I rose from my bed
And walked, or floated, to the bathroom
I avoided the big mirror that hung on the wall
And climbed into the shower
As I turned the knob
The shower became a torture chamber
The water was glass, cutting into my skin
Every drop sent a freezing cold shiver down my spine
Though the water was lukewarm
I panicked, my breathing getting faster and faster
I barely washed an inch of skin before
Shutting off the shower in a rush
While climbing out,
My eyes copied the mirror and fogged
Following an instinct, I wiped the mirror clean
Of its white steamy sheen
And caught an unpleasant sight
My face... that’s my face?
It couldn’t be
Staring back at me was a rough skinned
Jagged looking face
With a red, curling mouth
And slanty eyes
The eyes were big, black, sucking;
I made a face, frowned, forced an uncomfortable smile
They copied every move
I started to grow hot
The toxic, creeping anxiety that I knew too well
Rolled up and down my body
Who was this stranger that stared back at me
In the glass?
Why did I not know her?
Because I still knew that she was me, but-
It’s just too strange, I hated it
The hot touch of the pain
Crinkled my brain
But I managed to pull my eyes
Away from the mirror and continue in the numb
Drying off was rough and uncomfortable, but bearable
I stumbled out of the bathroom, and to the kitchen
My roommate met me at the kitchen table
At least, I think it was my room mate
Her face looked different; distorted
I could barely hear or understand what she was saying
She smiled so brightly, and gave me a big hug
She vomited words that came in blobs and slurs
I smiled back at her, because I could tell she was gleeful
She was just so happy, and I wanted to be happy with her
She reached behind her back and pulled out a card
I could focus on the bright colors of the card which was good
Her face became brighter as I turned the bright cover
Inside were big, red, blurry letters that I had to shove my face into
I, for some reason, could barely read or understand them
“Hapfy Birdday?”
I thought my birthday was in June, isn’t it August?
She gave me a tighter hug, said something I didn’t hear
Copyright © Nicole Resom | Year Posted 2019
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