Numb

It’s 10:30 on a Wednesday night and I am sitting on my floor. Been staring at a blank space on the wall and I’ve lost track of time. I take a second to question what I’m doing, but not a moment more. A wave of recklessness rushes over me- considering crime. You see, I’ve been in a funk for so long now, I can hardly call this a rarity. If this is the new me, I won’t last very long. I know that I am senseless, yet I no longer wonder the severity. I am not phased by the things that go wrong. I sit here reflecting while my mind is absolutely blank. After a long period of grief, you learn to numb yourself. All the vibrant thoughts you once had are now cold and dank. Whatever it is that I need has been stored out of my reach, high on a shelf. Everything I once had slipped through my fingers. If you relax for even just one moment, every little thing can vanish. The next thing you know, you will be stuck with a memory that lingers. I never thought I’d be the one with flashbacks I cannot banish.