Jan Allison | + Follow Poet |
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Now You Have Gone

Why don’t I feel sad …why don’t I sit and cry
I am simply in limbo
Our lives have changed forever 
Mum has moved out of her home 
She couldn’t stay in the house with you no longer there
She kept expecting to see you in your armchair or standing by the window
I have no tears to cry … 
Guess I shed them in the weeks before you died

After 18 years of helping you both my life is back to being mine
I am sure in time I will get used to it
But now I simply feel empty and confused
Death is a part of the cycle of life
I thought it would be easier for me now you are gone
But it’s harder than ever

15th March 2015

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Maurice Yvonne Date: 3/19/2015 10:29:00 AM It's never easy. A beautiful write. A Fav. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 3/23/2015 4:51:00 PM Thanks Armand my lovely friend:-) love and hugs Jan xx

Thomas Martin Date: 3/18/2015 8:42:00 PM thanks Jan for sharing this with us. Tom Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 3/19/2015 5:15:00 AM Thanks for reading Tom:-) Hugs jan xx

Sandra Haight Date: 3/16/2015 9:27:00 PM Oh, Jan...so deeply touching and emotional. Yes, it does become more bearable...but it does takes time. What you are experiencing now is exactly how I felt when going through this...emotions are all over the place. You are blessed to have your beautiful poetry to express your feelings. Many hugs from me...Sandra Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 3/17/2015 2:17:00 AM I don't know where I would be now if I hadn't discovered writing Sandra:-) hugs Jan xx

James Fraser Date: 3/16/2015 5:21:00 PM Such a sad piece Jan. It reminds me of losing my brother and father as I didn't release pent up sadness at the time. I'm talking about 1969 & 1976. Since then I've had my moments, and quite recently. You will in time, hugs//James xx Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 3/16/2015 6:17:00 PM Thanks James I am told by hospice it can take weeks, months even years for it to hit home - I make sure I have a tissue with me at all times lol:-) Hugs Jan xx

Liam Mcdaid Date: 3/16/2015 12:01:00 PM deeply touching heartfelt pen jan passing you a warm smile with a hug wishing you a blessed beautiful st patricks day dear friend sorry i have not been around much Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 3/16/2015 12:03:00 PM Thanks Liam - life issues get in the way but doesn't stop us from catching up when time allows:-) have a wonderful day:-) Hugs Jan xx

Anna Hopper Date: 3/16/2015 7:49:00 AM Lovely, heart breaking, but lovely Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 3/16/2015 8:43:00 AM Thanks so much Anna:-) Hugs jan xx

Paul Callus Date: 3/16/2015 6:29:00 AM Mixed emotions that are not that easy to control or subdue. Time and a busy life schedule will both help. Hugs // paul Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 3/16/2015 8:42:00 AM Thanks for those wise words Paul:-) Hugs jan xx

Arthur Vaso Date: 3/15/2015 11:34:00 PM Very moving, emotional poem Jan, hugs! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 3/16/2015 1:47:00 AM Thanks Arthur:-) Hugs Jan xx

Viv Wigley Date: 3/15/2015 9:07:00 PM Deeply moving, verse, Jan. I share your sorrow. Having lost half of my family of six already,and finishing work to care form my Mum's last years, I really believed I would get peace as a reward for my efforts, but not so. I've had to really dig deep and unscramble how I feel. In my eyes they've gone on a voyage, and wouldn't want me to sit crying at the docks. They're waiting over the horizon and when I get my ticket, I shall sail with no fear of the waters. Praying for you (with hugs) Viv x Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 3/16/2015 1:46:00 AM Thanks Viv your words make me feel better for reading that:-) Hugs Jan xx

Iris E. Sankey- Lewis Date: 3/15/2015 7:29:00 PM Jan, though this conveys sadness and grief; it is also a lovely tribute. You've penned each line from deep love that's everlasting and rare. Blessings and peace. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 3/16/2015 1:45:00 AM Thanks Iris:-) Hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich Date: 3/15/2015 6:55:00 PM this is a very nice one you did ,Jan. PUtting your emotions out there and telling it like it really is after the death of someone that lingered at death's door for so long. I do hope things get a lot easier for you. I KNOW they will in time. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 3/16/2015 1:45:00 AM I can only hope it will get easier Andrea :-) Hugs Jan xx

Shane Cooper Date: 3/15/2015 5:44:00 PM Stay strong my dear friend, the hole in your life will slowly fill with new roles for you to play. And the tears will come eventually. dear Jan take care of yourself. love Shane xxx Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 3/16/2015 1:44:00 AM Thanks Shane:-) Hugs Jan x

Ilene Bauer Date: 3/15/2015 12:01:00 PM we never really know how we'll be affected by someone's death and there's no "right" way to feel. i think that writing about it is an excellent way to deal with those feelings, jan... Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 3/15/2015 12:04:00 PM I would never have dreamed the journey I would go on when i started writing just 13 months ago - it is helping me through good times and bad:-) At the hospice they said it could be weeks, months, years before it willsink in:-( Hugs Jan xx

Poesy Relish Date: 3/15/2015 11:09:00 AM Oh Jan... may God ease your heart dear... hugs, nad Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 3/15/2015 11:12:00 AM I feel in limbo Nadiya - I can't understand why I don't feel sad - I am sure it will hit me in time - maybe I grieved enough before but it is not what I expected:-) Hugs jan xx