November 15, 2016, 11:40 Pm
i pile pillows high
on the left side of the bed
hoping that in the morning
you'll be there instead
but when i finally wake
and these pillows are deflated
i'll lay back and think
of all the things you've ever hated
like how i push too hard
and talk in riddles
or make fun of myself for
being too soft around the middle
or perhaps when we would drive
around the lake real late at night
and whisper about our boring lives
and how being together felt so right
maybe about how you loathed
when i threw fit after fit
and you would drive away with
a half hearted "see you in a bit"
but most of all i'll think about
when you would hold my hand
and how even when we were apart
i knew you were my man
and even more i'll ponder
on the romance you poured
out to me, my heart,
a man i have never more adored
you used to laugh at
all my jokes and smile
at me in tender moments;
with me ungrateful all the while.
and when we were in public,
on our feet or in your car,
i will admit, my love,
your affection has set the bar.
from brand new lipstick
to whole chocolate cake
my heart is sure to be sore
the moment that i wake
because these pillows
cannot compare to the
heat of you against me
and i'll forever mourn the
sweet moments in your eyes
during late night drives
and melancholy meals
in empty, abandoned, dugouts
that were so dry i thought
i could never understand
how there could be such
a place that lacked
a vital necessity to life
but now i am so intimate
with the knowledge of
what it's like to be deprived
of something i never thought i
could live without
and somehow this whirlwind
of emotions,
this tumultuous sea
of lifeless fault
and fractured light,
feels just like home
when you aren't here
and can be explained in
so few words.
i miss you.
Copyright © Ema Kenyon | Year Posted 2017
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