Not a Poem But a Short Story Its Called Intruder Alert

I knew I was in trouble when I woke up to being tired to a chair in the living room and a masked man brandishing a 50 cal pistol in my face. I guess that because he was waving it he wanted me to know that I shouldn’t act up. Unfortunately that man wasn’t alone. I saw another guy going through my secret stash of money. I saw him because of his mottled jacket. That jacket had so many colors on it I was blinded when I got a full glance of him. Also, because they were mixed it was even easier to see him. What made it even worse about the robbery was that the main guy was deriding me. He was laughing and making fun of me, so I kicked him with my free leg. The genius only taped one of them. He pointed the gun at my face. I looked into the barrel and I could see the bullet waiting to be fired. I tried to coax him out of shooting me. He shot. Not me though he knew he couldn’t shoot a child so he just spit on my feet. He started ranting to his buddy in my mom’s room. He would stop talking. He was talking very loudly too and he would talk for excessively long periods of time. I told him to shut up. So he walked over to me and said really benevolently, “Do you want to see your own brains, ‘cause I don’t” That shut me up. What was even worse was that he had a kind tone in his voice when he said it. Finally our alarm came on and both robbers screamed, “ WE HAVE TO SLOUGH THAT SIREN!”. They finally got rid of it and went back to work. They didn’t know the alarm triggers the police to come. The cops came and they were acting so aloof. It was funny they knew they were busted but they were acting cool; like nothing was happening. The police, I was surprised said one thing and one thing only. They said,” You know we are new cops so we will ask u what you want to happen. We are very amenable, open to suggestions. So do you have any?” I started laughing so hard I almost fell over in my chair. The robbers answered, “ Can we go free?”. The cops again surprisingly answered, “ Yea sure why not its late sure come on out we will take you home” The robbers fell for it. They walked outside and into the cops cars without fighting or anything! After they untaped me and went back to their cars I heard one cops say to the crooks. Ha guys fell for it, I wish I was as smart as you, your not going home, you going to jail. That was the last I saw those crooks. They probably didn’t want to be seen in public.