No Walkies For Me

With a crouch and a jump and I miss it Why can’t I get it myself Why can’t I get the biscuit My mistress leaves on the shelf Normally I wouldn’t steal anything But not a happy girl am I She has gone out and left me Didn’t even say goodbye. Normally a tap on the head and that biscuit Comes my way when she’s going out I give her my paw to say thank you This pleases her I have no doubt She thinks I am a well-trained boxer Well I am when I want to be Other times I think, shall I, shan’t I When she says outside for a wee Oh, I hear the key in the door now Shall I sit here and pretend I haven’t tried To get myself a biscuit But the debris might prove that I lied There is flour on the floor And on me now, rice all over the place Will she be cross I wonder Should I hide without a trace So I slink away to my bed now Pretending that I am asleep ‘Til the screams of horror awoke me What she called me would earn a bleep Bad girl was one that she uses Flowered up to make it sound bad Think walkies is out of the picture Now I am feeling sad What a day I am having No biscuits or walkies for me She had better hurry up and let me out Cos now I really must p ee.