No more Apologies

Darkness travels inside my blood clot thinks he is above me can't get to me not so easy body pains, kneecap cramps side neck cracks, pill by pill can't heal. Too many now I've started with just one I shouldn't have done. But past eats on me like a cancer piece by piece I fall apart it's never been easy, but harder by the day, hour by hour I've turned sour like a tween towers I've crashed and burned, I should have been heard. I've listened I have tried to hear the voices in my pain like a heavy rain freight train hits my solitary brain i never wanted to see myself like this, is this the mirror of a child torn by war, abuse and visual horror and gore or is there something more, or crippling sore inside my body core. I've been beaten many times over i wanted to forget and those who treated me like some kind of bet to regret but their pain was bigger much greater than mine and that's fine. My father at that time was family spine with a heavy hand and mind my mother my freedom my excuse to my father when i needed one my brother just another don't bother, told on me to be free it was always me, part of my tragedy like empty melody he couldn't see me for me, didn't love me that really tore me. there is still something left some pieces here and there enough to start over and heal, i declare war to my self against all my enemies and all my tragedies there is still time I'm fine no more apologies.