Mrs. Yolanda Nicholsen Poet Quatorzain

Nightmare called Dementia

This dreadedness has haunted me since my abrupt traumatic brain injury followed by daytime sleep apnea DAYTIME SLEEP APNEA unable to stay awake all day falling a sleep in doctors office on the bus trains in meetings dreaming awake taking several ten minutes naps with full blown dreams panic attacks as I awaken sleep still dreaming the worse nightmare ever if I forget to take my daytime sleep apnea medication to keep me awake all day than when night falls I could sleep but the dream takes over the fear of getting on the train dozing off for only a few seconds awakened by the conductor saying this is the last stop I look around I’m the only one on the train my bag is ripped a trail of the contents of my purse is scattered day turned to night in what seemed like only a blink of my eyes the conductor firmly asked my name do I have any identification I shake my head no my things are scattered could I call someone for you I can’t remember my name my family where am I receipts familiar ink pen from my purse here write your name I don’t know my name sir do you recognize this place I respond it’s the wrong stop please take me home he squints searching my eyes for a response I feel unconscious he looks straight through me unaware how broken I am I’d fallen asleep forgetting myself my head hurts and I want to go back to sleep maybe I could remember where I got on this train at maybe if I fall back to sleep I will wake up and this nightmare would end wake up honey wake up i open my eyes I’m safe in my bed I’m safe I’m home

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Thomas Wells May 5, 2024 at 10:30 PM Yolanda, the stream of words is so torturedly compressed, and they convey everything masterfully in a stream of consciousness! You have a great gift for writing and that is why I will start following you on here. Best wishes, Thomas

David Crandall April 25, 2024 at 6:34 PM Yolanda, wow, this really brings out what a confusing, anxiety producing nightmare dementia must be Mrs. Yolanda Nicholsen April 26, 2024 at 5:25 AM Thank you for your comment have a wonderful day.

Paula Goldsmith April 25, 2024 at 12:42 PM WOW!!! What a powerful write/ending. I have friends with dementia. Their husband's will not say anything about it. Act like it is not real. Have a blessed day writing away................ Mrs. Yolanda Nicholsen April 26, 2024 at 5:25 AM Hello Paula thank you so much for stopping by always a pleasure many blessings.

Daniel Henry Rodgers April 25, 2024 at 9:51 AM Dear Yolanda, Your raw portrayal of living with dementia is heart-wrenching. Through your words, we glimpse the relentless struggle against a mind that betrays, trapping you in a nightmarish reality. The fear, confusion, and disorientation are palpable, offering profound insight into the daily battles waged against a relentless adversary. The courage shines through, even in the darkest moments, inspiring empathy and understanding. - Blessings, Daniel Mrs. Yolanda Nicholsen April 26, 2024 at 5:27 AM Thank you very much Daniel for your compassion and kindness many many blessings have a great day.