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This dreadedness has haunted me since my abrupt traumatic brain injury followed by daytime sleep apnea DAYTIME SLEEP APNEA unable to stay awake all day falling a sleep in doctors office on the bus trains in meetings dreaming awake taking several ten minutes naps with full blown dreams panic attacks as I awaken sleep still dreaming the worse nightmare ever if I forget to take my daytime sleep apnea medication to keep me awake all day than when night falls I could sleep but the dream takes over the fear of getting on the train dozing off for only a few seconds awakened by the conductor saying this is the last stop I look around I’m the only one on the train my bag is ripped a trail of the contents of my purse is scattered day turned to night in what seemed like only a blink of my eyes the conductor firmly asked my name do I have any identification I shake my head no my things are scattered could I call someone for you I can’t remember my name my family where am I receipts familiar ink pen from my purse here write your name I don’t know my name sir do you recognize this place I respond it’s the wrong stop please take me home he squints searching my eyes for a response I feel unconscious he looks straight through me unaware how broken I am I’d fallen asleep forgetting myself my head hurts and I want to go back to sleep maybe I could remember where I got on this train at maybe if I fall back to sleep I will wake up and this nightmare would end wake up honey wake up i open my eyes I’m safe in my bed I’m safe I’m home

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