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Night Angel

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This poem was written in response to a story about a young child who was rescued after an abduction by a stranger who felt something was wrong. I have revised this poem at the suggestions of some readers. 
They needed help Walking alone in the dark. The man. The child. A broken down car. The child frightened, But not understanding The terror That would soon Come her way. Her parents petrified That their baby was gone, Agonizing Over forbidden images That crowded their way Past ice cream sundays And birthday parties And wedding days. A passer-by. A doer of good deeds. He stops. He sees. He looks into the little girl's eyes. Bravely The girl speaks, "This is not my dad" And the coward who took her, He runs. He hides. The passer-by, Believing he saved A child From a long, cold walk, In reality Saved a child From a long, cold death.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013




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Date: 12/10/2017 9:32:00 PM
Walking after their car broke down, the Child was scared in the strange environment. It was agonizing and petrifing to have the child taken. A passerby suspected something was wrong, and intervened. Followed the picture being painted. Hugs, RP. Please if you will, stop by and visit my page.
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Date: 12/10/2017 6:05:00 PM
AMAZING!!!!!!
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Date: 3/10/2013 10:30:00 AM
If only strangers care, they wouldn't be strangers anymore.
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Date: 2/8/2013 8:30:00 PM
!!!
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Date: 1/26/2013 2:55:00 PM
powerful write - congrats on your wins, my friend
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Date: 1/22/2013 6:18:00 PM
Thank you for the feedback everyone. I do not know much about form at this point, but I will try to learn that one.
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Date: 1/21/2013 8:32:00 AM
Kind of agree with David and the others BUT overall, a very compelling write! Welcome my new friend! Hugs, Jack
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Date: 1/21/2013 1:55:00 AM
Hi Rachel I get it...the only thing I would suggest is your format, you have chosen a dark theme which should be read slowly, to be absorbed slowly, the format should deliberately slow the reader down, but because you have few words per line it scans too fast the readers eyes jump quickly from line to line, try putting the same feeling into something like a double Etheree, as in an ascending/diminishing one...as I say the theme is good try a different format...David
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Date: 1/20/2013 6:54:00 AM
It was written about a news story about a man who abducted a child and then the child was rescued before anything happened to her because the abductor's car broke down and a passerby felt something was wrong when he stopped to help. The abductor tried to lie, but the girl spoke up. She didn't actually said those words, but she asked for help. I will work on it. Specific suggestions appreciated.
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Date: 1/19/2013 8:21:00 PM
ok I've read it about 3 times , still lost, man and child? is the man a kidnapper. "she" is a force to be reckoned with. who is "she", parent? passerby?. He saved child from long cold death? thats the passerby. Too many he/she's, left me very confused. Was I supposed to be confused? .... Anyway, like the theme. its interesting, made me think
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Date: 1/19/2013 7:46:00 PM
Welcome to soup. This is very interesting. I enjoyed the tale. I will go see how you do in another form of poetry.
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things