Nicotine Has Taken Over

I am the master of my body I think until I realize nicotine has taken over she is in charge now. she decides whether my day will be full of cheer. I did not think I could crave something as much as I do her. Smoking was something I learned to do by example – both parents. their home is a reminder that there is a brokenness somewhere. my breath, my lungs, my habit; it all causes me to have a temper. when nicotine is not available. I need my fix you see. I would like to see a possible victory, but with dismay I admit. I can barely grasp the lies I tell of my smoking life. there is a loss of something, I am not sure what, but I see better. others do not hold the chains of addiction. They are mine to deal with. what chance do I have to kick this habit? I am fearing no chance at all.