New Years Thoughts, Last Years Intention

if you don’t call me when I’m sick, Why do i spend my nights pretending that you’re holding me and keeping me safe from my own brain? I don’t do resolutions. I burn things in my mind like a pyromaniac broken relationships turn to dust as I try to validify my once active words. My eyelashes are stiff and stuck together with tears as I can try to apologize for your actions and I can’t fall apart because of old memories and past deceptions I can’t call you up on the phone and say ‘damn I wish you were here’ because it honestly doesn’t matter what I want and what I think because you may be my Romeo but I know i’m not your Juliet and he wants me to help him to write a duet when I can’t even get my own words in order just to say enough to speak my own mind and maybe I can apologize but hearing and listening have two different definitions and I think that you can’t do both.