New Life

Looking in the mirror this morning Must have been dreaming Of the monster That I once was Who is this girl That shines before me Do I truly know her Does the monster still lurk behind Those sad, pale eyes I keep pointing my finger At the past At its pain At its people That I loved That I hated That left me dry And tasted me wet I am now a mother And a daughter A wife with a will I hide in my house Hoping to avoid hell Step out into the light And see all the beauty of Earth But it's too bright for my eyes And the sun does not like me very much I'm unworthy of this beauty I don't know how to take it all in But back to the monster That pathetic little being Beat up arms Beat down soul Eyes staring straight into death's sweet consolation Oh, the darkness How it longed for me And still does From time to time But I can't see that monster anymore Nor can I see its shadow It's useless To try to write this now Just remember I have no idea what I'm saying Except that I have a new life And some times My old life haunts me Saying " Who are you?"