My World

My World

In my world
Controversy and Song
Are appreciated

And toleration was never 
Created

In my world
Differences are embraced

There’s only the
Human race

Yes

In my world

Joy swings
On the tire
Tied to the
Tree

She swings 
High and low

Embracing

The soul felt
Breeze

rhyme

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Just That Archaic Poet

September 25, 2013 at 10:18 AM

Another interesting piece you've penned here. I am a bit confused with the second and third stanzas, though; they seem to somewhat contradict themselves. "Tolerance" is the buffer of differences, meaning it's what aids and helps diversity to be understood and embraced. If "tolerance" was never created in this world you speak of, I would find it difficult to fathom that "differences" would be embraced, if that makes sense. Not trying to be pedant per se; I'm just trying to make sense of it.

Lara Wash

September 27, 2013 at 12:35 PM

Thank you. I appreciate your comment. It’s good to read that I have accomplished my mission to evoke your assessment about toleration. I believe that all people want to be appreciated and not tolerated. Tolerance is a first step. It is much better than conflict. But tolerance is a somewhat negative word, to “tolerate” and to be “tolerated” involves an unequal relationship.

Just That Archaic Poet

September 25, 2013 at 10:23 AM

Other than that, I thought you had a thought-provoking piece. And the only other suggestion I have is that I think the last line should be extended, like "the soul felt a soothing breeze" (or something akin to that). You have a unique style which I find intriguing. I hope you find my critique helpful; I only want to help, not to hurt feelings or bruise egos :)

My World

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