My World

My World In my world Controversy and Song Are appreciated And toleration was never Created In my world Differences are embraced There’s only the Human race Yes In my world Joy swings On the tire Tied to the Tree She swings High and low Embracing The soul felt Breeze

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Just That Archaic Poet

Date: 9/25/2013 10:18:00 AM

Another interesting piece you've penned here. I am a bit confused with the second and third stanzas, though; they seem to somewhat contradict themselves. "Tolerance" is the buffer of differences, meaning it's what aids and helps diversity to be understood and embraced. If "tolerance" was never created in this world you speak of, I would find it difficult to fathom that "differences" would be embraced, if that makes sense. Not trying to be pedant per se; I'm just trying to make sense of it.

Lara Wash
Date: 9/27/2013 12:35:00 PM

Thank you. I appreciate your comment. It’s good to read that I have accomplished my mission to evoke your assessment about toleration. I believe that all people want to be appreciated and not tolerated. Tolerance is a first step. It is much better than conflict. But tolerance is a somewhat negative word, to “tolerate” and to be “tolerated” involves an unequal relationship.

Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 9/25/2013 10:23:00 AM

Other than that, I thought you had a thought-provoking piece. And the only other suggestion I have is that I think the last line should be extended, like "the soul felt a soothing breeze" (or something akin to that). You have a unique style which I find intriguing. I hope you find my critique helpful; I only want to help, not to hurt feelings or bruise egos :)