Notes About The Poem

My Tell-Tale Heart- Twist On Poe

It wasn’t that I’d done you wrong
I'd welcomed you into my heart’s home
I'd cherished you
and I had fed you 
I'd protected you
I had let you dream your dreams
in comfort
in safety
and I had loved you:
You were my own

And yet….
day upon day,
you waited for the opportunity
to confess
knowing it would kill me
knowing I would bleed...
you had a perverse pleasure
in planning….
the murder my heart
and I never had a clue
I trusted you

You planned…you observed
and all the while you smiled
acting sweet and caring
checking on me
making sure my needs were met
And then
out of nowhere
like lightning
you struck my unsuspecting heart
rammed the dagger in deep
and twisted
t*w*i*s*t*e*d
to make sure
every drop of blood was spilt

Satisfied and sure of yourself
you hid your gruesome work
underneath layers of indifference
buried
or.... so you thought
but every now and then
you hear it
I know….I can see it on your face
You hear the beating of my heart-
my tell-tale heart
it still beats for you
It’s still ALIVE!
You try to deaden it
the noise
It’s driving you mad
as you wine and dine her

You try to make love to her
more vigorously than before
more often
more intensely
but as she is screaming your name
begging you for more
in the crescendo of passion
You hear it...

It's the beating of my heart
It drowns out her voice
It drowns out everything
It pounds in your head
My love is not dead

You can’t go on
enraged, seething
you leave her wanting
as you run out of the room bellowing…
“STOP IT!
I hear your cry
I killed your love
Why do you still haunt me?”

Beat after beat after beat after...b..e..a..t....
My heart is still alive
You feel it
You are drawn to it
She notices
They notice
You are agitated
Something is driving you mad
It’s me
You remember my goodness
My smile...my bed...my scent
my love...my body...my warmth
That pounding in your head 
is desire for....me

It gets louder…LOUDER
As you walk over to where I stand
with each quickened step
the pounding intensifies
Surely everyone must hear it

You come closer
the indifference gone from your face
Love...Passion...Repentance
I hear the beating
thundering in my own ears
my love for you

You are closer
you put your head on my chest
as your tears wet my blouse
I run my hands through your hair
pressing you closer

I whisper…
“Listen…
My Tell-Tale heart 
Is still beating for you!”

For Tommy's Poe Contest
A remaking of the Tell-Tale Heart story

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015



Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 10/14/2018 10:34:00 PM
"Heav'n has no rage like love to hatred turn'd,...Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd." I enjoyed this and I can see a lot of thought was put into it. Thanks E. M.
Login to Reply
Date: 12/5/2015 2:52:00 PM
Shame you din't get this in before the contest closed my little Desert Orchid. You definately put your stamp to this poe-m lol. Take care, Richard
Login to Reply
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 12/5/2015 11:18:00 PM
You are a funny man, Mr Seal...No, the Poe-m wouldn't have fared well in the contest anyway, I believe, so I'm glad I didn't manage to get it in. Thanks for the visit, and congrats on your win.
Date: 12/5/2015 11:09:00 AM
Edgar Allen Poe is one of the first poets I ever read, and got me interested in poetry as a kid. Great write, you really put your style into this Poe like poem! :) Hugs
Login to Reply
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 12/5/2015 11:17:00 PM
He is amazing. A dream within a dream....wonderful writer. Thanks, dear Arthur. You always lift my spirit. Your WOW bank never runs out of WOWs as you mentioned earlier. :) Hugs
Date: 12/4/2015 9:54:00 PM
Well hello you!...I'm alive..and this got my blood pumping....great job swetie...such passion spilled out into your words...I would have kicked him in the well....good riddance..:)
Login to Reply
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 12/5/2015 11:16:00 PM
Yes, I saw your posts here and there and am glad to know you are alive and well, dear. Thank you for your sweet compliment. It's hard to kick someone whom you love....I know. I'm a sucker for love. Hugs and welcome back.
Date: 12/4/2015 10:09:00 AM
Hi Eileen.
Login to Reply
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 12/5/2015 11:15:00 PM
Hello, Richard. :) :) :)
Date: 12/3/2015 5:52:00 PM
A chilling, most entertaining read! Great job Eileen (: Love that it is in the victim's perspective. Always, Laura
Login to Reply
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 12/5/2015 11:15:00 PM
Thank you for your visit to my Poe poem, Laura. You are kind as ever. I will visit you soon. Hugs
Date: 12/3/2015 10:59:00 AM
My pleasure Eileen, hugs Rick.
Login to Reply
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 12/3/2015 11:30:00 AM
:)
Date: 12/3/2015 10:04:00 AM
So great to have you posting again. I suspect this will do very well Eileen. This is infused with heat and emotions. I like what you have done with this piece, it's even more amazing!
Login to Reply
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 12/3/2015 10:43:00 AM
Contest is closed. The winners have already been posted. Didn't make it in time. That week I was just too depressed to get my head around working on it. Oh well...least it got me to post again. Hugs
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 12/3/2015 10:42:00 AM
Thanks, Richard. I will try to write now and again....The second part of the semester always gets trying for me. We are done with most of the theory and now it must be put into practice. Lots of essays and outlines coming in. I get tired of editing. Oh, well. I will use the weekends whenever I can. Thanks for your visit to me while away. You buoy up my spirit. Hugs
Date: 12/3/2015 8:44:00 AM
i like the brooding, intricate mood of this piece, eileen.. very detailed, very poe in tone!..huggs
Login to Reply
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 12/3/2015 10:44:00 AM
Thank you, Nette. I love reading the Tell-tale Heart to my class. it's a perfect sample of how one can use voice and intonation to bring across feelings of fear and madness. I LOVE it. I don't usually go for dark, but now and again....it feels good. Hugs
Date: 12/3/2015 8:25:00 AM
Well done. Rotten man he is never happy with a wonderful relationship He always wants more or what he can not have. Hugs Edith
Login to Reply
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 12/3/2015 10:47:00 AM
Edith, hello dear. So good to see you here on my page. Thank you ever so much for your continued friendships. Sorry I haven't been so great in responding lately...I've been down. Better now. :) Yes, the man in this poem is a real rascal....never satisfied. Here's the joke: Woman come in all shapes and sizes and textures...much like fruit. I myself am a pear shaped woman. ;) The problem with men is.....they like fruit salad! ;) There, Richard...what do you have to say to that. Hugs, both of you.
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 12/3/2015 10:00:00 AM
Not all men! But sadly true for some.
Date: 12/3/2015 5:22:00 AM
Excellent. An incredible piece. Enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing it.
Login to Reply
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 12/3/2015 11:30:00 AM
Thank you for your visit, Ravi. I appreciate it.
Date: 12/2/2015 6:25:00 PM
WOW! Eileen this is an incredible write! Dramatic and passionate! Best wishes in the contest! Love, Kim
Login to Reply
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 12/3/2015 10:40:00 AM
Thanks, Kim. I was too late to enter the contest, but I did ask the contest sponsor on his blog if he'd give it a read and still give an opinion. Thanks for sharing your opinion with me. It means a great deal. I haven't been writing for a while, so this repost was a good boost for me. Hugs
Date: 12/2/2015 3:35:00 PM
Eileen... Even if its a re-write..This is still you and so you..This poem is packed with emotions..I can picture a movie in my mind while I read it.Passionate abd Outstanding indeed. a fav
Login to Reply
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 12/3/2015 10:39:00 AM
Thanks, sweetie. You are always a source of encouragement to me. May God reward you richly for it. :) It was late for the contest, but...at least it broke my spell of being away. Hugs
Date: 12/2/2015 1:29:00 PM
Wow Eileen jan... this is an incredible piece... I felt the pain in my heart while reading about his betrayal .. and then the rush of joy through my veins when repentance bloomed... You are amazing!
Login to Reply
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 12/2/2015 2:15:00 PM
Thanks, Rahy. If you were able to feel the emotions, then the poem has been effective. This is a repost of an older poem that I reworked for the contest, but I was too late to enter it, unfortunately. Thanks for the visit.
Date: 12/2/2015 11:44:00 AM
WoW! Elieen you have created your own masterpiece. You captured such raw and deep emotions. Never did my mind wander you had my full attention. Your have an amazing pen. Excellent job .Good luck in the contest. It's a without a doubt 7 :-) Alexis
Login to Reply
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 12/2/2015 12:44:00 PM
Thanks, sweetie. You are always so kind and encouraging. Sorry I haven't been around much. Haven't felt like writing. This is a re-post. I think the contest has closed because I don't find a listing.....Anyway...better than nothing. :) Hugs
Date: 12/2/2015 11:35:00 AM
Well done LO, I felt the hammering beat -- Love, Passion Repentance echoes loudly and that sweet whisper . . . your are the grandmaster of these writes!! 7
Login to Reply
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 12/2/2015 12:41:00 PM
Thanks, Coach. Glad you could stop by. I'm glad you liked this. It's actually a repost. I wrote it some time ago. Can't seem to come up with something new. All the best.
Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Reflection on the Important Things

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
Store
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter