My Sweetheart

She has jealous eyes that tend to look at each other,
She’s the spitting image of her dear old mother.

Her heals are all crusty and cracked,
And she has more hair covering her chest and her back.

With a body that looks like a half melted bar of lard,
Soft in some places, and others it’s hard.

She sat on mypoor dog Rover, and it took me two days to find,
He now walks around with an all seeing dog for the event made him blind.

She wears this hair piece a $1.50 e bay comb over,
That looks like the hair between her cheeks left by poor Rover.

There’s this fat she has that looks like semi digested jelly,
It takes ten minutes to stop wobbling, and that’s under her chin not her belly.

But this is the woman that I once carried, 
Over the threshold when we were married.

A woman that can clear a five mile radius with a single fart,
The woman I refer to as my sweetheart.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

Poem

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Richards Avatar
July 4, 2010 at 7:49 AM
I missed this one earlier....but made me laugh this morning.!! You are so funny!!! :)
Spence Sr Avatar
July 3, 2010 at 4:45 PM
I like the essence of this list poem and the message it sends. Congratulation of your poem being featured! Great job! Joseph
Hero Aka Hero-Wilson Avatar
July 3, 2010 at 1:36 PM
True love shows here. Congrats on being featured.
Gorelick Avatar
July 1, 2010 at 5:48 PM
omg..this is love at its finest..what a lovely poem..BG.. We should all be so lucky..
Neels Avatar
June 30, 2010 at 8:29 PM
Congratulations on having this brilliant piece being featured this week Sidney - rgds Wilma
Stacey Avatar
June 30, 2010 at 3:12 AM
Sidney, this is brilliant, hilarious and at the same time really caring. Enjoyed reading it and certainly brightened my day. Best Regards Paul
Brown Avatar
June 29, 2010 at 11:27 AM
Congratulations on your terrific poetry being featured this week Sidney. Love, Carol
Fisher Avatar
June 28, 2010 at 10:32 AM
Many congrats on your feature this week. Rgds Janette
Adeite Avatar
June 28, 2010 at 10:14 AM
Hey, this is a wonderful piece; enjoy the honor of having your poem being featured this week. Please, keep your pen alive and keep up the great work!. You are great! Love, ~Adeleke.
Brown Avatar
June 27, 2010 at 10:52 AM
Congratulations Sidney on your win in Tirzah Conway's contest "Sweetheart". Love, Carol
K. Avatar
June 26, 2010 at 7:57 AM
You are definitely funny, Sidney!! reading your poems make me laugh--thank you!! and congrats on your win with this--yay for you! --nikko :)
Dietrich Avatar
June 25, 2010 at 8:09 PM
OH, my gosh say it ain't so!!! (congrats to you with my sympathies!hahaha) LUv, Andrea
Johnson Avatar
June 25, 2010 at 7:38 PM
A dubious honor to be immortalized by your poem but congratulations on your win. Love, Joyce
Conway Avatar
June 25, 2010 at 6:14 PM
Congrat's on your 8th place win in my contest-You had me rolling reading this!~Tirzah~
A   Avatar
June 20, 2010 at 6:04 PM
lol cute write, enjoyed...P.D.
Falotico Avatar
June 20, 2010 at 2:25 PM
LOL Made me smile and laugh at loud... Thank you.... Michael
Budd Avatar
June 20, 2010 at 2:05 PM
Haha I'm not sure what to say that. Must be true love, aha. Great write. Enjoyed.
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