My Replacement Man

This bird has pizazz, perkiness, and he is popular. I rolled my eyes inside my head, for she owes me money. Seriously, she said, I felt you rolling your eyes, but he is magnificent. What is his talent? I demanded. Singing? Dancing? Telling jokes? Not sure he has one, but all the women love him! She assured me. I met him on a Tuesday. He was jazzy, and wonderful. I liked him instantly. Brought him home, and kicked my boyfriend out. What did I ever do? Motormouth boyfriend screamed from outside. I put on music and began to dance, determined to keep the bird forever. I have not heard you sound this happy for a long time, my mother said. What is different? I have a new bird, I told her. He is porcelain, and he does not talk.