My Present State

My heart can feel it, the overwhelming surge of emotion. It grips and it tears with merciless ferocity as if it was a wild animal within my body and I can't stop it from overtaking me. A transformation of sorts, a lycan from the underworld. Born from the underbelly of my inner darkness and desolate descent into spirit death. And as I decay, slowly decay. I leave behind me when passing by as if a trail of lingering stench. As if the smell is attached to the very essence of my being and human interaction. Well maybe in my case inhuman interaction for I lost track of what mercy and belief in humanity is. My world is now carnivorous and carnal. I am a hunter now, I am always ready to go for the kill with guns that shoot emotional tranquilizers that ensure my remaining humanity is sedated, captured, and eaten. I am never full. Any hope of satisfaction or satiation is sedated. Lord have mercy…..I don't remember the last time I had mercy. I don't remember the last time I deserved it. Mercy me, let those who can run away run free. Let those who can run away, run away from me….