My Original Family Tree
My anxiety was gifted to me from my adoptive parents.
Just knowing my birth parents were looking for me
caused an apprehension I didn’t deserve or need.
Alone. Lost. Forgotten.
Abandoned and never looked back at. I was disregarded
and neglected. No freedom to live my dreams
because my dreams were stolen the second I was born.
Should bygones be bygones? I needed answers. My
questions were too deep as I had been antiquated so
young. Anger growing up filled with feelings of what a
disappointment I must have been to my birth parents.
I don’t even know if Sara is my real name. A name says
so much. It is given at the most precious moment from
two loving parents. I longed for affection. Do I need
my parents now after all these years? I wondered and
considered all the possibilities that could occur if I just
took the next step to go meet them as they requested.
I felt constant sickness in my stomach. My heart ached
to know them yet my sadness took precedence. We
shared the same blood. My veins are filled with their
blood and that will never change. I thought about that
for a while. Will they see who I really am? I am so loving
and nurturing. Did I get that from them? Yes, they
created me but they didn’t raise me. I was raised
different than they would have, I’m sure. I was raised
to know failure and neglect. I don’t even feel like I am
abandoning my adoptive parents. I knew long ago I was
nothing but a mess to clean up after. A few days went
by and my decision was made. My lament and grief gave
me no choice. I bled for love. I want to meet my birth
parents. I wish to be reunited with the two people who
created me out of love. I met them at the corner of 5th
Street and Main. Eyes met. Instant relief. No more fear
or apprehension could be found. Trepidation was released
by the look in my mother’s eyes. I had her big brown
eyes and I had my father’s slanted smile. Such a comfort.
I needed them. They needed me.
Hugs last forever, don’t they? Especially when they’re with
the right people. Some questions have been answered,
and some remain a mystery and that’s okay with me.
At this point in my life the only thing I need is a family. A
place to lay my head at night knowing I will wake up to my
actual parents. Tomorrow I will meet my siblings and I
couldn’t be more elated. I have longed for true lineage.
Craved attention from my original family tree. I deserve
this new life that was gifted to me from my birth parents.
Long Lost Family Contest
Date Written: July 20, 2016
Copyright © Lu Loo | Year Posted 2016
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