My Original Family Tree

My anxiety was gifted to me from my adoptive parents. Just knowing my birth parents were looking for me caused an apprehension I didn’t deserve or need. Alone. Lost. Forgotten. Abandoned and never looked back at. I was disregarded and neglected. No freedom to live my dreams because my dreams were stolen the second I was born. Should bygones be bygones? I needed answers. My questions were too deep as I had been antiquated so young. Anger growing up filled with feelings of what a disappointment I must have been to my birth parents. I don’t even know if Sara is my real name. A name says so much. It is given at the most precious moment from two loving parents. I longed for affection. Do I need my parents now after all these years? I wondered and considered all the possibilities that could occur if I just took the next step to go meet them as they requested. I felt constant sickness in my stomach. My heart ached to know them yet my sadness took precedence. We shared the same blood. My veins are filled with their blood and that will never change. I thought about that for a while. Will they see who I really am? I am so loving and nurturing. Did I get that from them? Yes, they created me but they didn’t raise me. I was raised different than they would have, I’m sure. I was raised to know failure and neglect. I don’t even feel like I am abandoning my adoptive parents. I knew long ago I was nothing but a mess to clean up after. A few days went by and my decision was made. My lament and grief gave me no choice. I bled for love. I want to meet my birth parents. I wish to be reunited with the two people who created me out of love. I met them at the corner of 5th Street and Main. Eyes met. Instant relief. No more fear or apprehension could be found. Trepidation was released by the look in my mother’s eyes. I had her big brown eyes and I had my father’s slanted smile. Such a comfort. I needed them. They needed me. Hugs last forever, don’t they? Especially when they’re with the right people. Some questions have been answered, and some remain a mystery and that’s okay with me. At this point in my life the only thing I need is a family. A place to lay my head at night knowing I will wake up to my actual parents. Tomorrow I will meet my siblings and I couldn’t be more elated. I have longed for true lineage. Craved attention from my original family tree. I deserve this new life that was gifted to me from my birth parents. Long Lost Family Contest Date Written: July 20, 2016