My neck is hurting

Looking right to the side, what will it do than leave my mind? I have guessed enough, measured rough, estimated tough, loved through, got through hearts and Stabbed them One, Twice Times Why I am wondering?! That it will coming to haunt me?! That it is following, I feel it in my spine, It's not a feeling, it is a life I have to live with. Have I even decided to live now? Was I out here to understand? I do not think so, You never thouhgt so, I mean, you never answered. Still when I see you, I can not look at you it makes me throw myself out the window, and still every once I see you with her I stumble. I was shocked when I still could smile and laugh, Even though, You habe said so bad things till I cried myself, To sleep, To school, To wakening up. To sickening. To wanting to write, Ouch.