My Mother's Daughter

She’s gone I miss her so And yet, I connect with her Every time I touch a flower... She’s there When I read the classics Engrossed in the pages of Lorna Doone... She’s there When I breathe in the pine scented air Of the hills of Lebanon, The land that she loved... She’s there When I sing the alto part of the hymns she adored Trying to fit my voice to her glorious one.... She’s there Teaching me how to follow the notes “It is Well with my Soul.” When tears spill out of my eyes In sympathy for another.... She’s there Her sensitive soul pouring out from my eyes When I tease my students and hug them tight Trying to make them fall in love with words... She’s there The well loved teacher When I write my little rhymes... She’s there Still believing I'll be famous one day When I drop something and it shatters... She’s there Worrying that the same disease Will touch her only daughter And turn her life to hell When I look at my black hair Beginning to show the white Thick and luxuriant... She’s there With a knowing smile Happy she’s passed on her Her crowning glory to me Between the lines of the poems I write... She's there Her romantic heart beating loudly ALIVE She’s there…… She’s in me How I wish you knew her Before she was ravaged by disease Before her spirit was crushed And her smile became lopsided And Yet…. And yet she didn't stop smiling Or reaching out to touch a loved one But I had to hear her pray for death The confines of the wheelchair too much Unable to care for herself Too ashamed Having to have my father bathe, change, and feed her Too much for the free spirit that she was The one who had climbed trees while pregnant And smiled at the sun I tried to heal her I prayed and I begged Testing my faith "In the name of Jesus...." No healing came No cure for MS And I hid my tears, crushed That this vibrant ray of sunlight My MAMA The one they called Sunshine Wanted to leave my world in in darkness I had to let her go And it was only when I changed my prayer And asked for His will to be done That she fell asleep And got the release she So desired. I miss my MAMA I’m crying tears she cannot see For she is sleeping Waiting for the wake up call Of Jesus whom she adored My heart bleeds for my MAMA Life is unkind To take her from me But I’m my Mama’s girl An extension of her heart and mind and soul A helpless hopeless romantic Who loves the rain And the wind in my hair And Little Women And singing And LIFE. Eileen MANASSIAN I Thessalonians 4:16 - 18