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My Heart Yet Beats For You-

Mine eyes see the bareness of her presents Equipping my heart with your last breath An earnest warm gentle kiss These substantial most Flowing, streaming Whilst my heart yet beating 7/10/21 Written By James Edward Lee Sr.

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L Milton Hankins

Date: 12/26/2021 3:43:00 PM

I found the poem overall interesting, but I was somewhat stunned by the last stanza which changed the whole tone of the writing as well as my feeling about what the poem was about.

L Milton Hankins

Date: 12/26/2021 3:37:00 PM

I'm sorry, but I don't really follow the intent of this poem. The archaic "Whilst" is very stilted, as is "Mine eyes." I find a conversational tone works best for me, James. For example, what are "the bareness of her presents?" What does this mean?

James Edward Lee Sr.
Date: 1/5/2022 4:12:00 AM

Milton, thanks for stopping by to read my fictional-metaphoric verse... To this fictional artistic ruse"the bareness of her presence " her " represents humanity Viewing with the spiritual eye "loving and forgiving one beyond their habits and wrong choices" looking beyond until one's true self ... Thanks James