My Girl Anna Conda

She is long, lean and very much into exercise In body building contests, she always takes top prize Now she is training for a Triathalon Her mother coaches her from her car eating Bon Bons She tells her it takes self discipline to succeed As she is rolling up a joint from her dime bag of weed She says you can accomplish anything you wanna She is close to being my girl, my very own Anna Conda I am usually sitting at her house watching her pet Gerbil She runs my life, when she's not there, I really get verbal I tell her Gerbil, Gertrude if you don't like it, then get out I feel brave with Gertrude, so I really get loud This has me thinking do I love her or her dominant ways Sometimes I don't see her for days So I call her sister for some support, her name is Rhonda She tells me we better not talk, I don't wanna feel the wraith of Anna Conda I tell her I am not afraid of her Besides, she is busy at Shoney's Buffet feeding her mother So Rhonda and I get together for some sneaky fun I threaten Gertrude, you better not tell her what we've done I am true American, I can't tolerate Commie Hoes like Jane Fonda When will I be loved by Anna Conda The phone rings, I am disappointed, it's only a bill collector I didn't understand a word, but I did catch his name, he goes by Hector So another a person who speaks English, tells me she is 3 months behind on her Honda I tell the person, I dare you to come and get it, that's a direct quote from Anna Conda Three days later the car is gone She kicked my butt from Dusk til Dawn Now I have a new love, her name is Vonda The nightmares are still there, the virtual hauntings from Anna Conda