My Cheerleader Left For Good Today

I heard your encouragement so many times, worded ten million different ways that I forgot to listen for it anymore. Your love never came lightly, never with levity but rather cast echoes when it left the horizon. Sometimes it hurt on purpose, Just so you knew how severely you could affect. You forgot to listen too. I have been brave enough to hold the gaze of a barrel that had a recent, accurate and deadly history. I scheduled having my first child completely alone. I am not brave without you. You have had more purpose than you ever realized. I wish I could tell you all about it today. You would tell me to hold my head high. Wouldn't you? Your tall tales were magical to me. I was silly to always believe you. You needed someone to resound what you wished to be true. To make it all sound less tragic. Bye momma